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User talk:Amergall
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Thread:320749#153|Stories Pertaining to the News Event on 6-2-14 page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:39, June 5, 2014 (UTC) Crimson Eyes Welp, I can give you a few tips to help improve your story, but I can't necessarily give you plot points to make your story good/scary. (Scariness is subjective, so just write on what scares you.) You mentioned that you were writing from your perspective (I assume that means it will be in first person perspective? Using I and my.) If this is the case, then some caution needs to be taken to avoid cliches. Here is a list the wiki has compiled of the common Cliche that really reduces the quality of a creepypasta. One of the most common cliches I come across in this type of story is the protagonist being killed mid-sentence at the end and the monster taking over, which begs the question... Was the protagonist writing the story with a monster patiently waiting to kill him and did the monster sit down to the computer, sloppily typing out the ending with its gigantic gore-covered claws and then spent a good fifteen minutes uploading it to this wiki? Additionally if you are in a reading mood, you can peruse Quality Standards and make sure you're effectively writing. I would also recommend building tension slowly. Don't introduce the being in the first paragraph, hint and insinuate. Put the reader on the edge of their seat, make your story suspenseful. The biggest tip I can give you is to mention that we have a writer's workshop. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Board:Writer%27s_Workshop There are a bunch of talented users on there who can drastically improve your story. (I should know, I've used them for two stories I have uploaded.) You can post your story there and get feedback and suggestions.I hope that was helpful, sorry I can't do more to help. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:07, June 5, 2014 (UTC) --Flame19~ (talk) 11:17, July 25, 2014 (UTC) Block You have been given a one day block for not heeding the warning above. Please don't create new categories. We have more than enough of them as it is. Thank you. Mystreve (talk) 11:35, July 25, 2014 (UTC) I did not add new catagories on the post after you said not to creat new categories I used the ones that were there I apologize if I was not suppose to add catagories to my story since i'm new to how the wiki works. Farther more I kindly ask you to lift my block as I have done nothing wrong Amergall (talk) 11:52, July 25, 2014 (UTC) :Wrong. You can add categories to stories, just verify that they exist on here. You added the "Murder" category, which does not exist. I realize you're new around here, but Flame gave you a clear warning previously not to make up categories. Take the day off to go over the rules again. Thanks. :Mystreve (talk) 12:08, July 25, 2014 (UTC) :I do rememeber adding the murder category. I'm not saying I didn't do it I'm saying I did it once so thats a warning not a block. Amergall (talk) 12:33, July 25, 2014 (UTC) ::Just to jump in here, you added a nonexistent category (Insanity) onto your story and were warned by Flame19. Then five or so hours later, you added another nonexistent category (Murder) That counts as a violation after receiving warning. I would use this one day block to look over the Genre Listing to learn what is a viable category or not. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:59, July 25, 2014 (UTC) Crimson Eyes Actually the Marked for Review tag is used for pastas where the user is uncertain about the overall quality or feels there is an overwhelming amount of issues that need to be addressed. I would recommend keeping copies or backups of your story (like this: http://pastebin.com/jJDuR6yi) As for someone putting in the proper corrections, really the onus falls on the writer to make their story presentable. The biggest issue was with the phrasing and wording. "None of you understand me as I can probably tell all I have talked about is how I feel on the inside how much pain is within me so I (sic) let me tell you the story." is a perfect example. This lacks punctuation (commas, periods, semicolons) to help with flow. This is present all through-out the story. I started working on your story with the intention of removing the tag and putting it in a category, but the punctuation (Or lack thereof) issue was so prevalent that I had problems understanding when you wanted to use a temporary pause, like this or a full stop. Like this. The phrasing issues made my attempts at editing impossible. ("Which was good I kept a good relationship with her and I did love seeing her better than she was (???) and with my stepdad now back then though he was just my mom’s boyfriend whom she lived with.") I have no clue what you were trying to say with that sentence. It seems like you tried to mix up a number of plot points in a single sentence that would be easier if written separate. I have no real issue with the story and would in fact like to see you re-work it and submit it to the writer's workshop for some help with your style. I was tempted to try and re-phrase the sentences myself, but I realized after the fourth or fifth re-working that I may be misconstruing key plot points or passing over them and was not doing the story credit. I attached a copy above so you can re-work it (I'd suggest using the writer's workshop for assistance.) and submit it through Deletion Appeal once the revision has been made. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:52, July 29, 2014 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:46, August 26, 2014 (UTC)